The answers are within you, my friend.

What do you do when you have to take a decision?
I normally will delay until I have the feeling that is the right moment.
I know it is not a rational way to handle this things, but I seems to work for me.
For other circumstances a more methodological approach may be handy. And that is exactly what Gina Trapani describes in her article:Four ways to make a big decision. But take this approach with a grain of salt. If your subject is of the soul searching type, you may use this method to justify what your guts are telling you. When you take a decision, make it in your mind and in your heart.

Geek to Live: Four ways to make a big decision - Lifehacker

To your success,
Juan Pablo
You have the power to transform your conflicts, into positive energy

Gear up your Optimism

Our views are highly influenced by our own internal feelings.
By cultivating a positive view, we can make our life much better, and we will be more open to accept what life has to offer, talking much of the stress that is generated when we fight against adversity.
This does not mean we need to forget our dreams and needs. It means that evey event can be seen in a necessary step that will bring us closer to our goals.

INTERPRETING EXPERIENCE POSITIVELY:

(1) Selective Focus: Emphasizing the enjoyable, constructive, open aspects of life.

(2) Refraining from Complaining: Avoiding pointless complaining and whining about oneÂ’s difficulties. Taking the world as it is and not complaining that life isnÂ’t fair.

(3) Questioning Limits: A constructive skepticism that challenges the limiting beliefs held by ourselves, our associates, and our society. A fundamental creative openness to possibilities.

(4) Sense of Abundance: Feeling free to do what you want, rather than feeling compelled by circumstances or people. Recognizing the world to be full of opportunities. Being for things, not against things.

(5) Humor: Seeing oneÂ’s own shortcomings with a sense of humor. Allowing healthy, good-natured humor to reveal new perspectives and combat dogmatic thinking.

INFLUENCING OUTCOMES POSITIVELY:

(6) Rational: Using reason rather than being lead by fears and desires. Objectively assessing situations and taking action based on understanding reality apart from our wishes.

(7) Self-Improving: Optimists see the self as a process and seek continual improvement. Their drive to improve is not pushed by fear but pulled by a inspiring self-image.

(8) Experimental: Frequently trying fresh approaches, staying out of ruts, actively seeking more effective ways of achieving goals, and being willing to take calculated risks.

(9) Self-Confident: Believing that we can bring about good things. A fundamental conviction of competence in living.

(10) Self-Worth: Believing one is worthy of success and happiness. Without this, attempts to improve oneÂ’s life will lack motivation.

(11) Personal Responsibility: Taking charge and creating the conditions for success. Being aware of how we determine our chances of success. This crucially involves integrity: living according to one'’s values.

(12) Selecting Environment: Being attracted to positive people and situations. Seeking out those who will support and inspire, not discourage, distract, and undermine.

Source The Occupational Adventure (sm): Dynamic optimism

Juan Pablo Mattenet

You have the power to transform your conflicts, into positive energy

More food for the mind

The Stockdale Paradox

How do you keep your Optimism in the adversity?
This short text has a diamond at the very end.
And yes, I think that at the end we will prevail.

Enjoy

Juan Pablo Mattenet
Transform your Conflicts into positive energy!

Feeding your Brain bit by bit

Conflicts, are seldom related to how we feel about ourselves in relation to the others.
Comparing is then a good thing to do. Right?
Think, then read the rest:
DailyOM - Comparing Yourself To Others

Juan Pablo Mattenet
PositiveConflicts.com

Imprisoned by your thoughts?

“Problems exist only in the human mind.”

-- Anthony de Mello

For most of us, there's always a long 'to do' list.
That's a fact.

And it's easy to feel victimized. 'Poor me!'’
That'’s not a fact. That is a choice.

Experiment with your life to explore how much your mind is your jailer. Simply let go of the '‘oh woe'’ kinds of thoughts. Silence your mind. Be right here, right now. Decide what you will do now and do it, without buying in to the mind'’s sob story. When one task is done, you can then choose another.

Allowing the mind to agonize about the size of the '‘to do' list just makes us tired before we even get started. It doesn'’t have to be this way.

'“Don't water your weeds.'
Meet life's challenges in a whole new way

Don't take it personally (Sound Advice?)

One of the difficulties on handling conflicts is that we tend to take them personally. This short post has some advice on detaching the People from the actions.
Read more Sowing the Seeds of Glorious Living!:

Escalation of Interpersonal Conflict

Conflict is a part of most every interpersonal relationship.
Managing conflict, then, is important if the relationship is to be long-lasting and rewarding. Learning how to manage conflict involves being able to identify the steps in any escalating confrontation, and being able to stop the escalation and do emotional repair by reinforcing the positive aspects of the relationship."
More: Escalation of Interpersonal Conflict:

Conformity, Why is so attractive

Reading this interesting article about the Chimpanzees, I can't but speculate how much of this behaviour we mirror ourselves.
Kids are particularly vulnerable to the social pressure to conform to society rules and as adults wear some of these attitudes without even realizing that we are doing it.
Don't take me wrong, some degree of conformity is needed, but sometimes we approach our relations, more looking on how they will be seen from the outside, than what really is going on between us.

Quote of the Day

"Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself:
What is my truest intention?
Give yourself time to let a yes resound within you.
When it’s right, I guarantee that your entire body will feel it."
Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, October 2002
Quotations Weblog

Creative Problem Solving

The InnovationMarketers blog has a great post that give the 7 steps to be more open to creative problem solving.

Read it and live by the steps

1. Visualize ultimate success
2. Be still and know that the answer is within you
3. Be patient
4. Create a positive environment
5. Take time away
6. Engage others in the creative process
7. Meditate
InnovationMarketers blog: Creative Problem Solving

Do you feel the Pain?

From INC:

It didn’t make any sense. Kevin Steele, co-owner of Karaoke Star, a Phoenix retailer of karaoke equipment, noticed that the number of people clicking on his paid search-engine ads had shot from 200 to 800 a day. But despite the apparent jump in traffic, sales hadn’t budged. Steele and his partner, Diana Frerick, had built their business on Internet advertising, and more clicks almost always meant more revenue—which the pair had invested in a new office, more inventory, and a call center to field technical questions.

Full text So Many Clicks, So Few Sales

BlogHer bits

While anger can be used as a tool, sometimes the person who’s angry is a tool.

Read More: the [non]billable hour: Blogher Brain Dump

Who are you, really?

Many times, when people ask me "Where are you from", and I can't give a straight answer, I realize that the way we define our identity have not evolved with the time.

Sherry has put an article on asking a the simple question of Who are you :
"When I ask people the question 'Who are you?' I'm usually greeted with silence. People are not sure; in fact, some have never even stopped to think about it.
Can u imagine living all your life without knowing who you really are?
Once people recover from the initial surprise of the question they respond with all kinds of definitions, most of which are based on their character or abilities."

Read moreisolated hideout

Positive Coaching Program

Why do we describe conflict as positive?

Learn the connection between change and growth and conflict!

You will never know what you can do without challenge and opposition.
You will never develop new skills if sheer necessity does not force us to do so.
In short, without conflict, YOU will never grow.

When you engage others in positive conflict, you are telling them that he/she is important enough for you to invest some energy in improving the relationship, by challenging the sore points in it.

FREE Subscription:Your Positive Coaching Program :

12 useful negotiating tips

Twelve Useful Negotiating Tips

By Tristan Loo

1. Avoid the YOU and “YOUR words at all costs when dealing with an angry person. "You did this." Or "“It was your fault"” is a direct attack on the person you are talking to and they're instinct will be to defend themselves or counterattack.

2. Speak very softly when your counterpart is yelling. This voice-leading technique will force them to lower their own voice to match yours. It will also force them to listen better in order to hear your words. Remember that the tone of your voice as an amazing power to either escalate or deescalate a confrontation.

3. Don't react to personal attacks, or try to defend them. This will only make you into a punching bag for additional attacks. Instead, acknowledge those attacks as an attack on the problem that you both share and work with your counterpart on trying to find a solution.

Read the other 9: 12 useful negotiating tips

Are your afraid of Conflict?

You have experienced your share of conflict in your life (—and who hasn't? )
You may even be afraid of conflict.

Perhaps you lost big time when you tried to impose your views on your spouse; or your best friendship ended in sour recriminations that nobody wanted, but nobody could stop.

What are the lessons?
What did you learn?
To go the other way, of course!
The reaction can be so extreme as to deny any conflict..
Learn this and Much more at: Your FREE Positive Coaching Program: (email subscription requested)

What is their story?

This is a nice piece that show us how personal is the perception of the reality.
When confronted to conflict we should see if we can view the reality from the story that the other side presents..
Small Business - Be a Better Liar Page: "Be a Better Liar"

Rules of Productive Fighting

Sonny G. has this interesting article on the Art of Fair Fighting.

4. Don't talk trash; don't call each other names........ like - you're a POS, you look like a @#%&*, you're a liar, you're a pig. Or words that tend to put down and demean the other. If your partner is a liar, or a pig why did you marry him/her?The things you say in anger actually boomerangs and makes you look stupid. Talking trash is verbal violence. It hurts the person in a deeper way. It strikes at the core, the persona, the gut. Words spoken that hurt the persona are never forgotten even if forgiven. When things go bad between you and your mate, as they sometimes do, hurting words are remembered and the pain recurs.
Read Full article:Sonny's Page: More on the Rules of Productive Fighting ..............: "

A 5 days Positive Coaching Program

Does this strike a cord for you?

Conflict seems to be the very stuff of life, bringing up all the most difficult emotions — anger, mistrust, resentment, loneliness — and the saddest outcomes. It makes us sad, depressed, but also unhealthy.
A broken heart is not only a metaphor, but a reality: the physical consequences of aggression and fighting are felt much longer after a strong discussion ends, in the whole body. High conflict situations can literally and really kill you or make your heart suffer."

To take this 5 days Free course:
Your FREE Positive Coaching Program: (email subscription requested)

Workplace Conflicts : How to survive a bad Manager

The best advice for having a bad manager is to seek other employment. Don't undervalue your happiness: it's impossible to be happy if you work directly for someone you canÂ’t stand. It may be difficult to find another job, but if you are willing to make compromises in other areas (salary, position, project, location, etc.) it will certainly be possible. Being happy and underpaid is a much better way to spend a life than unhappy and anything else.

How to survive a bad manager - scottberkun.com